Lately, I’ve been having a lot of trust issues. I find myself in a lot of situations where I can’t get myself to trust anyone besides my faith, myself and my family. Is this bad? Probably. However, do I have much of a choice? Not really.
I honestly feel like the biggest turn off in social relationships is people who lie. Even small little white lies, it’s like you say small little lies in order to cover something else up, but if you really think about it.. do you think that you’re white lie will remain a secret forever? Possibly, but in reality, the truth always comes out in the end. So I don’t understand why people feel the need to lie.
If I say that I’ve never lied in my life, that would be a lie and I would be a hypocrite. I try my utmost best to be an honest person. I’ve learned my lessons, and honestly, I would much rather receive the consequence for doing something wrong, rather than to lie about it and live with the guilt of lying to begin with.
I’m just frustrated, irritated and bitter I guess. Frustrated and irritated because I feel like I can’t trust anyone, and I’m thinking, at this rate becoming open and being someone that can share my story is going to be pretty hard.
Sigh, I just need A LOT of prayer. Pray that I’ll get over it, Pray that it’s not up to me to decide or to even judge. That’s all up to God. Pray to have the patience and to seek out the honesty and good in others. Pray to forgive even when my heart is so bitter and it wants to refuse. Most importantly, pray to seek guidance and to grow. I can only say that the emotions I feel right now is because I’m still growing and patience is not my forte. I definitely need guidance.